Holding On

Tuesday September 1, 2020 // Morning Nap

Today my little guy is just north of 14 months old. He’s a chunk. Running around, chasing the dog, climbing on everything… It’s so much fun to be with him all day long everyday.

Presently we’re nap jailing on the couch at my neighbor’s house. We’re getting some work done in the house so we’re social distancing in our friends’ basement who are in our tiny quarantine circle.

It’s a darn fine nap jail. I tried to put him in his pack and play but he woke right up. Plus I’m fighting off cats that keep running down here. I’m off the clock today so I might as well enjoy this snuggle session with the little guy because I fear these days are getting thin.

Going back to somewhat normal life is going to be impossible but it’s inevitable. I recognize that at some level. It doesn’t make it easier though. Regardless, he’s getting bigger and more mature and at some point these moments won’t be possible at all. It makes me sad but always helps me to keep things in perspective. To savor right now. To embrace the growing puddle of sweat where the little guy is pressed up against me.

I often think about what his first memory will be. Will it be him, his mom, and I laughing at something he did? Will it be me swearing because I stepped on a toy? Will it be him looking out the car window? Or touching the animal noise maker thingy at the park we go to first thing in the morning on the weekends?

I hope I remember today’s memory though. Of this nap jail. Of us sitting on the floor playing with all the fake toy food. Then him slowly backing up then taking running dives at me and I catch him and pick him up into the air before falling backwards and him laughing hysterically.

A few days ago my wife and I were reading through some old posts I wrote about our past travel adventures. That website is long gone but I have them all saved. We reminisced about those fun times. It made me miss writing about our lives and having a place to look back at and see the highlights as we actually saw them.

There’s something about writing your experiences that a picture or video can’t capture. Your mood, your thoughts… those aren’t things you can see scrolling through your iPhone camera roll. To relive the adventure of when you got stranded in a small Japanese town late at night in the middle of winter with a stranger from China, that can only be done through writing.

I’m all over the place in this writing. I used to think that was a bad thing. That writing had to stay on topic. Have a purpose. Make a point. In some areas, sure. But here? Nah. This is for me. This is for my family to relive our adventures. If others find it fun or useful or entertaining, that’s a bonus.

Time to focus my attention on the little guy.

– Josh // holding on

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